Another day.....
Well, our weekend was...interesting...

Saundra is 14, and she's got TONS of "friends" up there that go out every night, or at least on weekends, and "party". The Friday night that we were there, Saundra asked if I wanted to go meet her friends, so at...about...10:30 I think, we started out to Kia's. On the way, we met Lela(???), Nick, and KC(???), who were going somewhere else I guess. So, Nick remembered that he left his hat over at Kia's, and had to go back and get it. So, Saundra went with him, and I got to take the other two back to Saundra's house to wait for her to get back. All of them were drunk, I guess. I had NO idea WHAT to say, but we actually talked some. Then, after they got back, the three drunks left, to go to ANOTHER party.
Then, Sat., while we had church, Saundra went out somewhere with her "friends". Later, when she came home, I went with her to Kia's house, and was TOTALLY bored while they talked about people, and things, that I knew NOTHING about. After they had all smoked a ciggarette, they decided to go to "better" things... I just said that I saw what happened to my sis, Melissa, and didn't want to be involved with that. They asked if I was sure, and Kia even said she would just talk to me, but I just went outside. Dang! it was cold! :-p My dad called after I had been talking on the phone for a while, and said it wass time to come back (my mom told me today that they thought what happened would happen, and wanted to provide me with an "out", which was kinda nice of them), and by that time, they had all come back outside, so I told Saundra what my dad had said, and we went back. Quite simple, right? HA! right...
Later that night, we were talking about her day, and she said "I got so stoned, it was so cool". WHAT'S SO COOL ABOUT IT??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
Sunday was interesting... It started out pretty good. We all got up, but not too early. At 10:30-11, Saundra had me go into her room, and we were partially talking, partially listeneing to her music, kinda just being there. I asked if she wanted to go to the IMAX theatre with us (everyone else had asked her also), but she had other "plans". So we went and watched a movie about the grand canyon, which was SO AWESOME!!!! (more later). So, the day went on (more later), and we got back to Vivian's to find that Saundra had not returned home. Later that night, she still had not come home. When we left this morning, she still had not come home, or called Vivian to let her know that she at least was ALIVE. That's what gets me!! Saundra doesn't care right now how much she's hurting her mom. Vivian is trying to be understanding, trying to make things easier for Saundra, so that maybe she won't have to do the drugs, but it doesn't really make much of a difference. Saundra told me Sunday that she "didn't need anyone", that she could do it all by herself. I'd like to see her try (well, not really!). Who would be there for her if she needed help? her "friends"???? I don't think so! Who would give her a HOME with love that she very much needs right now. Who would be her MOM?? Who could she really trust?? It seemed to me, while we were up there, that all they really care about is getting something for themselves, and to heck with everyone else!! Is this what the world had come to??? What happened to friends who were there for you longer than their fix?? What happened to our childhoods?? Now, everyone is in such a hurry to grow up that they miss some of the best parts. Saundra doesn't "need anyone", and how many more don't? Obviously her "friends" don't need anyone either. Anyway....On to more interesting things I guess....

So, to start all over again...last week I told Frankie that I needed some time, and space, to think about things, just pretty much EVERYTHING. So I thought I made it clear, but I guess I didn't. Compare versions of my weekend...
Fri., I talked to Frankie. Sat., I talked to Frankie. Sun., I talked to Frankie. Mon., I talked to, and saw, Frankie. See a pattern here?? He starts text messaging me on my phone, I write back, "be patient, I'll call you back..." etc. and he asks when? soon! when? soon! He calls me...I say I'll call him back. When?? Soon, I NEED to go!! When are you coming home? you're too far away... No, I'm not! Yes it is. NO IT'S NOT!!! Yes, IT IS!!!
I've know him for..............2 weeks now?? something like that, maybe more. We knew who the other one was MONTHS ago, but not really...So 2 weeks. In those last 2 weeks, we saw each other EVERY day. Talked on the phone every night, for HOURS, and then SAW each other...but yet, we DON'T know each other!! And now, he's introduced "love" into this! Like it's not complicated enough!! He does NOT love me, CANNOT love me, and even if he did, I DON'T WANT TO BE ATTATCHED SO MUCH!!!! I haven't gone a day now without seeing him, or talking to him, and I feel as though I'm losing what little life I had. I like spending time with him, but there IS a point where it is TOO much time, and we passed that point a LONG time ago!!! So, back to the weekend thing...I was trying to be there for Saundra, so that maybe she'd have a STABLE friend, and I talk to Frankie every day??!??!?!?! It does NOT work!!! I coudn't do it!! So, I just told him, "I can't be on the phone all the time", and he said "ok Rachel, bye", and HUNG UP!!! Grr!!!
There was a time when nobody actually cared for my presence enough to CALL me, and now....Now, I SEE Frankie EVERY freakin day!!

OK, well, now that I'm done ranting, and raving about it all, I'll share more of my weekend experience...
Sunday, we went to IKEA, a Swedish designed furniture store. It was SOO cool! It was 2 stories, and they had a map made for THAT ONE STORE!! But, of course, you would need it... They have "houses" set up, where you can see what a certain thing will look like with another, etc. And then, if you want to buy something, you write down the bin, and the row (on the back of the map), and you go down to find what you want, take the BOX home, and put it together! Simple, cheap, and NICE!!!
Today, on the way back home, my mom and I stopped there again, but we could NOT find ANY parking places!! NONE!!! So, we just came home...sad sad thing...

I guess I'm done with my little story for now...

I'll try and write another entry soon, but life...eh! you know!

- posted by Rachel @ 11:50 PM