I got this in an email...
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>Subject: Fw: WHY THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE PROMOTES DISTRESS--
>
> 1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
>
> 2) The farm was used to produce produce.
>
> 3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
>
> 4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
>
>5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
>
> 6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
>
> 7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was
>time to present the present.
>
> 8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
>
> 9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
>
> 10) I did not object to the object.
>
>11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
>
>12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
>
>13) They were too close to the door to close it.
>
>14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.
>
>15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
>
>16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
>
>17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
>
>18) After a number of injections my jaw got number.
>
>19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
>
>20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
>
>21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
>
>22) Too often, two at a time try to visit the sick.
>
>23) Who's the one whose been singing this song?
>
>24) They're over there fighting for their lives and our freedom.
>
>
>25) Beyond repairing, the whole quilt was one giant hole.
>
>26) Don't you know what 'no' means?
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>27) From my balcony, I can see the sea.
>
>Further:
>
> There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither
>apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in
>England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while
>sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.
>
> Quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a
>guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is
>it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't
>groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth,
>why isn't the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So
>one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? You can make amends
>but not one amend. If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get
>rid of all but one of them, what do you call it? If teachers
>taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats
>vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
>
> In what language do people recite at a play and play at a
>recital, ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that
>run and feet that smell? You park in the driveway and drive on
>the parkway? How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the
>same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? Your house
>can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by
>filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.
>
> English was invented by people and reflects the creativity of
>the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all That is
>why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the
>lights are out, they are invisible.
>
> And, why doesn't Buick rhyme with quick?

- posted by Rachel @ 2:13 PM