>> > Subject: Eight Degrees of Blondness
>> >
>>1.Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact
>> > on the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it,
>>looks in the
>> > mirror, and says, "Hmm, this person looks familiar."
>> >
>> > The second blonde says, "Here, let me see!" So the first blonde
>>hands her
>> > the compact. The second one looks in the mirror and says, "You
>>dummy, it's
>> > me!"
>> >
>> > 2. A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she
>>goes
>> > out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and
>>when she
>> > opens the door, she finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well,
>>the blonde
>>is
>> > really angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as
>>she does so,
>> > she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her
>>head. The
>> > boyfriend yells, "No, honey, don't do it."
>> >
>> > The blonde replies, "Shut up you're next."
>> >
>> > 3. A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals.
>>She
>> > proudly says, "Go ahead, ask me, I know all of them."
>> >
>> > A friend says, "OK, what's the capital of Wisconsin?"
>> >
>> > The blonde replies, "Oh that's easy: W."
>> >
>> > 4. What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was
>> > pregnant?
>> >
>> > "Is it mine?"
>> >
>> > 5. A blonde had just totaled her car in a horrific accident.
>> > Miraculously, she managed to pry herself from the wreckage
>>without a
>>scratch
>> > and was applying fresh lipstick when the state trooper arrived.
>> >
>> > "My God!" the trooper gasped. "Your car looks like an accordion
>>that was
>> > stomped on by an elephant. Are you OK ma'am?"
>> >
>> > "Why, yes, officer, I'm just fine" the blonde chirped.
>> >
>> > "Well, how in the world did this happen?" the officer asked as
>>he surveyed
>> > the wrecked car.
>> >
>> > "Officer, it was the strangest thing!" the blonde began. "I was
>>driving
>> > along this road when from out of nowhere this TREE pops up in
>>front of me.
>> > So I swerved to the right, and there was another tree! I swerved
>>to the
>>left
>> > and there was ANOTHER tree! I swerved to the right and there was
>>another
>> > tree! I swerved to the left and there ...."
>> >
>> > "Uh, ma'am,'the officer said, cutting her off, "There isn't a
>>tree on this
>> > road for 30 miles. That was your air freshener swinging back and
>>forth."

>> >
> 8. A blonde once wanted to prove to her husband that she was not a dumb blonde and was very smart, so she decided to paint their living room one day while he was at work. She followed every instruction carefully. Later that evening when her husband came home from work, he paniced when he saw her lying on the floor panting w/ her face all red from the heat. He distressfully asked, "Honey what's wrong??" and she said, "I wanted to show you that I am not a dumb blonde by painting our living room for us! And I was doing just fine until it said, 'put on two coats'....."
>> >
- posted by Rachel @ 2:44 PM